Happy 100th post!
I had to add that. As I progress through this journey labeled 'life', I begin to notice what drives others apart. Why must our age (time of being conscious) matter at all? Let me ask you a question. If you were a business owner hiring for your company what would you look for? Would you look for someone who was 19? And what would your logic be? Why must you boycott the youngings? What if you did hire a 19 year old and five days later after they had been trained of everything you realize what a complete moron this 'adult' is? Now think back to a 14 year old. If you know you learn best when you are young, wouldn't it make more sense to hire a younger person as their grey matter in their mind is not yet completed it's course and they are still able to learn certain functions or lessons while applying them to their job or life? In my experience, hiring a younger person than an older person is probably a much wiser decision. They do what they're told, and if they don't that's your fault and your'e the shitty employer.
I know for a fact that I am more intellectually advanced than most 'kids' my 'age' and even more a vast population of 'adults'. And I also know a far group of 'kids' my 'age' who are aswell. I make more money than my parents do and I'm not aloud to open a mutual funds acount because I'm not legally 19 years of age. This is the government's law. They do this because they know 'kids' are smarter than they were before now. I could be a millionaire twice over by the time I'm 25 if I did open a mutual funds acount right now. And they're afraid of us. They're afraid to lose power, you can't deny.
The same thing could be said about my mother now that I think of it. She's scared of me because she knows I could be more powerful on my own than here at home. I am just too lazy to make plans to get out of here. I think when I am 16 and know a bit more about legalities and what sorts of courses I can take from the college I will leave this house and never return. Until then, I wish death upon this family or atleast they can set some goals to get a house away from this one I am currently residing in. That was harsh... but I'm in that state. And now I'm not in a good state at all because my mother is trying to fix my life. I don't understand what sort of joy you can get out of trying to gain control over another's 'life'. We are here to bask in the sun and live a good life and reproduce and when others try to stop you from doing so it is quite 'illogical'. And I'm not being a teenager like everyone else. I want to work and I'm not aloud to? I'm not aloud to work and make my own financial life for myself? If I fail Math I'm not aloud to work anymore? Who the hell can do that? And when my father takes us to a foreign country and drinks my money down then threatens to kill me if I don't leave, I get hassled that I'm not able to take care of myself? I can do a much better job on my own of taking care of myself than sitting here smoking marijuana. I'm not John Lennon or Yoko Ono, that's what I got told today. I also got told that I was stupid, immature, unable to take care of myself, a failure at life and illogical. Thanks I like hearing that from people I live with. Sorry I am complaining about my life a tad much tonight, but I think it's best I get it out whilst I can or else it will be 'locked inside' forever. Which really, would be fine with me. You know that the nurons and electrons in your brain are creating bonds between eachother, emotions and memories everytime you remember a specific incident and how you felt. The more you think about it the more the bonds become stronger. So really the only way to deal with it is have a yell about and forget about it and remember what you've learned. This relates to my 'time does not exist'. If people focused on what they know, not how they got it, and applied it to their lives... they wouldn't keep making the same mistakes. If people didn't make the connection of emotions and memories they wouldn't feel shitty all the time and mope about their life. That is why I am writing about this now, so that "tomorrow" when I go to school this night will have not existed, yet only the knowledge I have gained through it. Now the question is... what have I learned? I learned that the only thing people have against me is my age and the fact that I like to smoke marijuana. Now if the government allowed marijuana smoking they would not be able to use that against me. My age? Well how else does it fuck me over except the fact that it is 'illegal' which to me is 'illogical' which to them I am 'illogical' so therefore we are all 'illogical' in the eyes of one another. But that's okay, because I like to create my own reality and not have it paved before me thanks. I think I will just start saving my money, put it away and just save and save until I have enough to travel where ever. Or to South America and open up a store there. Also I'm sure if I did want to move to a town and they had a McDonald's Jack would give them a heads up or a good word about me. Hence I am one of the most well respected persons there. And when I say well respected I mean, people like me because I do my job well, and I'm not a retard like a high majority of the staff.
Moving on to brighter topics I have a tree on my leg. I did finish watching the movies 'The Secret' today and also 'What the bleep do we know?'. They are both most fabulous movies and have indeed helped me become more aware of my surroundings. I did my daily rituals, paid my bills then took Dillos out for tea and biscuits. I told him about my next topic for book writing. And I think I ought to begin that now. I think this idea will progress much farther, faster, than my other idea. It is more layed out already and I have great details about it. The moral of the story is 'be yourself' obviously. The guy's pretending to be a Ukrainian architect. I'm not sure what will help him see the light, that's the one part I haven't planned out yet, but I could probably write half the book while figuring it out. Cartoon Acid is a bit on the 'hold' because I think I need to experience some more life in order to find more light for her. The third topic I had for a book was not fictional, but more so non-fictional. It has to do with understanding other people. This is a quick idea and the details aren't so great but hopefully with a little time they will come to me. Actually, they will I know. I wish my grandmother's old labtop worked because then I could write my scripts in my room since writing with a pencil takes too long and by the time I write out a sentence the next thought has passed.
Well, my money making scheme isn't quite finished. I've hit a glitch, which is greatly major... but I think I can make due with a different savings account until I am 'legally' responsible for my actions. Maybe I just won't even trust the bank and just save every penny I earn from now til I die... or turn 19 and then put it in a mutual fund. Here I go blabbering about everything. Another note on my making money, I've began blogging to get paid. Which is delightful if you ask me. Although I don't know if people would be interested in my thoughts... though great if you are! It's amazing they have these sorts of things out on the internet. Also my google ads are going good. My goal for April is to 'attract' more traffic to my site using the laws of attraction and then I will get more clicks and more cash. Not that it matters to me, but it is very interesting and gives me a good feeling to get money for writing. I wonder if I can apply at the local newspaper for a column... The probability is low, because I am infact... of an illegal age. But I wonder if people would be more interested in reading about the thoughts of an unidentified person about the world and all matter in it. Maybe... I know I would be. I think if I take anything out of highschool it will have to be associated with English because I know there is so much more to know about writing. And I know that with more knowledge of the english language I could apply it far greater than sciences or math... mainly because I just have the passion to write and absolutely LOVE to! So... why stop? I think I shall keep writing until my brain bleeds.
I've decided to fast over the weekend. I do fast spontainiously sometimes, but usually only for a day or two, but this time I think I am going to see how long I can fast for. Once you pass the point of not feeling hunger it is easier to go a bit longer. If Jesus can do it for over a month, I'm sure I can do it just as long. Also I never eat that much anyways, once or twice a day. It's good not to eat sometimes, you get the feel of what some other people are going through. I'm sure somtimes it's not too bad for them. I think I could survive homeless very good that way since I hardly eat anything I would hardly need anything. Maybe just a waterbottle at my side and dinner every second night or so. Plus if you're homeless you wouldn't need so much energy anyways because...well what are you doing all day but sitting around? Though if I was homeless... I wouldn't be for long. I would naturally apply at places and find a job somewhere. There are so many jobs kicking around. ( I was going to say something about my father, though I decided it would be not very pleasant so I have refrained from doing so) Moving on.
I just had another quick thought... though it disapeared. Tsk tsk. I was thinking about Josh, and now I feel horrible that I was being so ignorant to him the other night. Than an idea came to me. Where is it now? No idea. It is unfortunate I have not been able to write about things tonight and mainly my life. It will come to me.
PS... Dillos got me a new tea pot. :)
