content in isolation

I don't mind being alone.
I don't mind being on my own.
I don't mind living in a hole,
Where noone else goes.

I feel a stronger self bond
When I'm content in isolation
It gives myself relief
When I've overcome desolation.

I want to know myself
So well that it's insane.
To know it all, everything,
From the atoms to my brain.

For some it may be
Of no greater importance
To learn the science of
the mind, and focus.

But for me, it's faith
I do it every day.

on the subtle level

All in all
within us all
therein lies
a perfect ball

Of perfect size
and shape, and rise
The perfect reflect of
symmetrical lines

Containing and in sight
Radiating perfect light
Energy packed right
In a dot, so tight

A dot could be than an atom,
But there's more you can't fathom.
Expanding the atom,
Any at random,

The void grows,
The nucleus knows,
The electrons flow,
and create it's glow.

But here, we're still in 3 dimension
Is there time for an expansion?

become aware

you are like a robot,
a mechanical being;
A robot of the earth.

with few exceptions
to your entirity;
you are able to be born and give birth.

all functions come
from a main source;
the difference is you are that source.

it shouldn't take long,
for one to realize
our life is not force

Because we are conscious

illogical sense

I often feel the woe of mis-clarity,
Disguised in misconception.
My dream was so beautiful,
Yet I ponder who or what it symbolizes
i want to rest
close my eyes
imagine light
discover night
iluuminate fright
expand delights
and take off for flight

the observer

Imagine an experiement done, at a certain place, with certain subjects and certain purpose. Space and time, are space and time, as any place in space-time is relative to another because the subjects all preform in units of Space-Time. So the experiement or event can take place in any area of space-time, because that is what it is seemingly contained by. That: "the certain materials be used, in this certain amount of time" leads us to believe that these ailments are shaping the energies around them. Imagine a hot cup of tea, steaming; it is shaping the air around it through heat waves, bursting with energized molecules. Imagine the tea 20 minutes later. No doubt by now, most of the heat has moved from the cup and the tea is chilly. We can observe a change in temperature over space-time. So it changed space and time for 20 minutes, that qualifies as time but no space. What does that mean? Well, if it was able to move through space, it would hold a conscious of it's own to direct it as such. Unfortunately this cup has been neglected for 20 minutes and if it had the will to move and go make use of it's life, then maybe it would have; cups are cups though, and unless it had it's own learning capabilities like humans do currently, it would not pierce through space; it is inertiatic.
Would you rather "God" be the observer?


Well this has explained two things, what curves space and what curves time. It is basically physical, 3d matter. We have observed this. How do we know this? We witnessed it through 'seeing' or 'perceiving' or 'imagining' using our eyes or inner perceiving device. We can associate this with an eye. So this concludes that as humans, we are the observers of this experiement, yes? This means we have ultimate power over which and when direction we want to experience, not to mention where, why and how space-time can be experience. We are intellectual, imprints of exterior superiority; we are illuminated by the stars and planets; they distort our deepest selves in distinctive ways due to their gravities and frequencies. Our deepest selves are who we are, personally, as individual persons. This is what we believe, know and antipate as observers, our hypothesis.

We behold the gift of Stardust

This leads us to believe that as willfull, wishful humans, that we are the ones to curve space-time. We do it everyday, through the things we do and thoughts we have. Every word we speak shapes space-time too. The energies we choose to distort will always have a reflection off of another conscious being.

a ramble on god, allah, yahweh and christ

In case most of you didn't know, god, allah and yahweh are the exact same words used to describe the exact same figure but in different languages or texts. I find it especially fucking hilarious as Christians hate Muslims and vice versa yet they preach the same fucking gospel. They say muslims make crimes against women, yet I feel totally bombarded by men in Canada and in a public Catholic church, so where's the fucking justice in that? I believe organized religion should crumble or be stomped aupon and people should follow their own voice of reason. I mean didn't the voice of reason lead the people to the animals? Didn't the voice of reason tell the ape-man "don't eat that fruit, you'll die". It only makes perfect logical fucking sense.

Also I think it makes most sense that we are one with the universe or we are all with the universe and that's why it is makes sense allah is a deity. Arm-Leg-Leg-Arm-Head. SOUND LIKE MAN OR WHAT??? We are man and hold the reason of 'god' or allah or whatever you want to call our tenth dimensional awareness of the universe. So now that we are aware the next step is to understand that we are ONE with our surroundings. I still find it hard but I'm working on ciphering my reality.

It's obvious I can't get people to stop wasting their time in believing in something other than themselves. But I can sure bitch about it and act like I'm making a slight difference or I might aswell be dead and done with because this world is fucking sad and pathetic when I actually look at the details. I'd like to blame most of the world's greatest problems on Man if I can. Let's say, for instance, high gas prices and the failure of our modern economy. One word can sum that up and it could be amiguous. Bush. Obviously it's not a tree or covering of a woman's vagina so it must be a name of a Man in the United States in which other men have elected due to his slight "mannerism".

What a bu-shit move.



So now that we have covered why the world is as terrible as it is, we can move on to a much brighter topic, oh say, Christ. I perosnally use his words and teachings as much as I can to benefit my emotional and spiritual health and of those around me. I find it sometimes difficult as jesus was a man and I am a 16 year old girl, yada yada. His real name was Yehoshua of Jerusalem. I find it sad how misunderstood he really was and that he allowed himself to die, but I suppose if he didn't then I wouldn't be having the thoughts I have now. Which leads me to believe also that everything does happen for particular reasoning and that this moment has always been meant to happen. I also find the Roman Catholic Church a huge joke as the Romans were the crucifiers of Yehoshua. HMMMMM.


So if you don't believe IN christ than I cannot do much but say okay and be on my way.

By the way, the term christ merely means one of enlightenment or illumination or of light, and for those who don't understand the connection between light and love, you may always be wandering in the dark alone.

Now that I've released some emotion thearoputically I guess it's time for a personal update.

- still really hooked on Spinal Meninjitus by Ween
- Gave my hermits their first bath today
- hung out with Psi last night
- had a nightmare about my mother's death
- getting this cast off tomorrow
- fucking pumped for Neil Young
- finished my Stalin outline

peas n luff~

But then, where is home?

In a fraudulent world,
where parasites bring hurt unto themselves,
dwells,
nuclear families,
fulminating with chaotic dramas.

To what have we lost our own sense of family?
Our own sense of love?
Abolished by what has given us life and support,
This place in which man has mistook;
Forgetful, of, say, his own bloody birth.

Poor, dear, old Mother Earth,
If only one might see,
Just clear, precisely.

Then atlast can we be shed of this materialistic ego.
And be freed to a new light, into the unknown.
But then, where is home?

The being

I am love
I am patience
I am truth
I am kind
I am determined
I am forgiving
I am faithful
I am thanksgiving
I am grace
I am eternal

Transition

I feel I have come to know all that I have come here for. Is it odd to accept Death now without wishing it? I have lived, and I have learnt, as I haved changed. Am I dying because of the course I knew I would take? Death comes upon every course, as does life. I feel the need to let go closing in, and I feel acceptant towards this release, so that I might give birth to something greater inside of myself. I want to be reborn into a being in which I may affect the world on a greater level. Mother Nature's wrasp is what I feel towards the human race. A deep yearning to bring balance about in the universe. Am I dreaming? Where do these thoughts emerge from? The answer lies within us. For we are all connected on the subtle levels of vibrations. This is where our conscious emerges; awareness of energy itself. We are this 10th dimension within the 3rd dimension of matter. Humans are matter, while awareness is conscious or Tenth dimension. As of lately I depict my death as my spinal cord puncturing my brain. That's how it has been feeling. The state I have been living in feels rationally irrational. Are we merely probable chance? The answer is yes. So if I die, and you are greiving, know that I will return to you, as you all have returned to me. The world we are living in is about a dream, we all once had. When I die I know there will be no interdimensional hell to experience, for I am already there and have found heaven within it. Humans are systems within themselves, for if you are conscious you will know this. Death is an illusion of physical pain that we all must experience, though it is not final in your awareness. For when you die, do not let go of yourself, but merely let go of whats holding you back ; pain. Become free in yourself and experience the exhilarating electricity of awareness. Feel one with your surroundings.

1: December 21, 2012

It has been said through the ages and years of the last milenia of this Earth, that the nutorious Maya Calendar ends on the winter solstice of 2012. This date marks the Galactic Allignment. During the Galactic Allignment the December Solstice Sun is in allignment with the Galactic Equator, this results from the precession of equinoxes.

This will be when humans will come in contact with their cosmosis and be born into a Higher Self. You must first learn that self though, and learn to treat it with care and respect. Everything done on Earth reflects the self. It's like the world of Earth is just a dream of what could be. After that you can dream to do as you please in a harmonic way. The December Solstice of 2012 marks rebirth of cosmic energies, a lead into the "5th World Age" and the 5th Dimension. The Maya called the last day of the Great Cycle, ' Creation Day'.

Blue star will appear with a big bang. The Hopi tell of the new life being created from a girl and a boy. The Hopi also say that the Liberators of our time will come from the West, with great force and no mercy, they will drop down like rain from the sky. For there is a great suffering and great amount of lawlessness to apear in the time to come, as we shall all witness. This battle is said to rid the world of evil and wicked, and restore the Mother Earth of her illness.

Jesus spoke of this day, he also spoke of a lot of things which I may or may not mention here today. He also stated that those who believed life was to be lived humbly and poor would be granted the ability to recieve a new name in the next world, there will be creation.

Let's just start with the name, Maya ; awareness without pain. Who were they? Or bigger question, where did they go? They were a very natural kind, very pure and well nurturing. I can imagine the life of the Maya was very peaceful and earthy. They lived in a natural time, but I feel there was an arguement. Though the calendar was used to track cosmic time, there was the idea , perhaps, to track time on earth, and when one should do something. This idea later evolved into the time we share now, a mechanical time.


Tracking cosmic energies is one thing, but basing everything you do around the sun is another. I think it best to do things to your own natural rythm and what feels timely. Perhaps, the old ways of the Maya and the new clock ways might have interferred between peoples. Leaving only few Maya, perhaps just one tribe, to live in natural time. Because the natural-time living Maya did not give into the whole 'track our life by the sun' deal, they stayed frequent on another level, one which we have now seem to have forgotten. Now I know my references are blank at the moment, you'll just have to take my word on this. I don't remember the name of the man, but he did state, and he was a Mayan, some sort of prophet or of higher power, ' If mankind wishes to save itself from biospherical destruction, it must return to living in natural time'. And he is completely right.


Knowing the wisdom of the Maya, I think it best I move on to explain the clock. Many people believe the clock dates the 'end of the world', buuuullshit. This date marks a 'rebirth' of energies, and I'll go on further explaining that in a moment. The world will not be destroyed by nature, but by Humankind alone. I'm afraid I don't see a happy ending for the planet of Earth (that doesn't mean we shouldn't respect the Earth, we should be as kind to it as possible), but of the rising conscious, as well as bright and luminante energies, I can see a promising future. It has been said that this clock depics the 'end of time' also, since we are living in a space-time format, I believe we'll lose the 'time' and just be.

The trick to life is to take it as it comes, to remain at rest, yet fully aware at the same time. Because the more you are at 'zen' or 'balance' the closer you are to your fullest self. And by fullest self I do mean, a light being of ultimate knowledge and love. Love is very important, it's what keeps things connected, like gravity, the Earth loves us, so it keeps us here regardless of what's happened, but that is soon to change, the Earth is near rebirth and so are it's children of love and light. Love for the earth and universe around you is also very important for equilibrium of self, and ofcourse the love of the self is the most important. For before there can be a need for universial knowledge, there must be pure universial love and understanding and acceptance. And I'll go on with that in a bit.

Our spirits, energies have to be the lightest or loving, or 'holy' or whole, in order for our ascendency. We must make every effort to live in peace with man and to be whole, for without wholeness, noone will see the light. And the light is the most important thing, what I think Jesus was saying was that, we need to accept things and see the whole thing in order to accept light into the situation. It can be applied anywhere, it's a law of physics basically, once you understand what could happen , accept, and allow light on the subject it is easier to move on and create, and recreate and so on. This world is just a dream, a place where we can make mistakes and learn from them and dream of something bigger.


Does this peak the height of our species evolution? I think it does, we are to move into Homo Luminous! Beings of light! The time is nearing for our ascendency into our own manifest selves. It is time to move into the "heavens" and conquer elsewhere. Though the time is not here, it will be in 4 years, which must be spent carefully and made the most of in every situation to grow and feed the self with positivity, drive and potential. Also it is the time to become balanced, accepting and harmonic aswell as natural , so that you too may receive the 'manna' , SAP, sub atomic particles, cosmic rays, photons of knowledge from the sun of love. It has been stated a great cataclysm, or down fall of heavenly substances, will take place. It is also good to learn as many things on earth as possible.


The date itself brings out some kind of pattern; 12:21:2:0:12. Now if you haven't researched the sub-atomic particles like I have to the extent that these numbers MIGHT make sense, then I shall explain something common I see in them. For instance, the Omega particle strikes me most because it's 'strangeness, or lack of decay, is unusually high; it's name also strikes as it can be transcribed into a circlular symbol: 0/o. It's structure of subparticles forms in a triangle. It hits a 3 on the chart of strangeness, or -3 while most other particles are a 1/-1, or 2/-2. Infact... it appears to be the only particle with that rate of decay. Omega particles are in a state of equilibrium, their isospin is neutral, neither positive nor negative, but at a constant state of harmony, which therefore allows a flow of electricity or energy. So the ratio of the spin to the charge is 1:0. Or incoherently, 1=0. Since nature is numbers, and numbers are patterns, then it strikes to make sense to me that 12:21 is a mirror relexion, symbolizing the positive and negative spins counteracting eacother into a harmonizing effect. As we see 12 is a remaining number, this number is used to symbolize completion, so therefore the belief of a neutrality, aswell as a constant is present.

Between the 12:21 and remaining 12, there is the number 2 and 0, this in my theory comes to play the idea of 2 energies(negative/masculine-positive/feminen) moving together equals one whole, which in terms of the Omega particle, 0. So this is where a theory of an omega particle arises that is soon to be our structure of atoms and energy flows, where in then is also present a plasmic state and other qualities I have yet to unvail but I am pretty tired and think I should dream some more, cheers.

Retribution

Decisions
corresponding with their consequences
through the mental process
of morality;
self-forgive,
never regret.
Don't fret over forgetting,
Take what you can
use